But, in addition to Thanksgiving’s resistance of consumeristic trends, I like the idea of taking a moment and saying “thanks.” “Thanksgiving” has always been an integral part of the church’s liturgy, and rightly so. Our lives are lived in constant gratitude for the generous offerings of a a loving God; offerings we experience through our family and friends, our community and neighbors, our fortunes and dreams. When we offer our thanks in a community, whether the church gathered at worship or the family gathered at dinner, we give voice to our thanks and hear the grateful expressions of others. And within that communal expression of gratitude, we come to realize that someone else is grateful for us, that we are a generous offering of God for others.

My family used to gather around the table before a big, wonderful Thanksgiving meal, and pause for a moment to offer thanks in the form of a makeshift prayer. There were a few Thanksgivings where it was hard to be grateful – like the ones we spent in the hospital with my mother as she fought off leukemia. But gratitude is a discipline. Even in the face of loss and grief, we were always able to find something to be grateful for.

Thanksgiving is an odd holiday. We are the only nation that observes it. Yet “thanksgiving” with a small “t” is part of our daily life. Each day brings a new joy, a new hope, a new possibility. Each day offers another chance to express our thanks. This Thanksgiving morning, as the sun rises on yet another new day, I give my voice up to expressions of gratitude in union with all the saints who offer their thanks today.

Thank you Steve!

I thought with a bit of time and some consultation with friends, I would find my way to my future career. After all, I always had worked it out that way. But for whatever reasons, this journey has been longer and more difficult than I imagined. At times I’ve felt lost, confused, clueless. At other times I’ve felt liberated, excited, hopeful.

Now I am setting myself to the task of writing a job description for a job I hope to find. I’m not going to wait for someone to hire me. I’m going to try to define my interests first – in a very clear and direct way – and then see if there is a place where I can realize my dream job. In other words, I’m taking the bull by the horns!

I think I thought at first that I would find an opportunity that matched my interests. But what I’ve come to realize is that I need to make the opportunity. If I really want to pursue my dreams and do what I really feel called to do, I need to make that happen, and not cede the responsibility for my dreams to any one else.

So, what is my dream? Well, I will post the job description here when I’m finished with it. But the rough outline is that I want to help churches develop leaders within their congregations. I want to help churches create systems that encourage people to explore, define and exercize their unique leadership role. I want to help churches produce great people who make a big difference in their communities. I want to help pastors better understand their role as leaders and engage their congregations effectively. I want to help pastors realize their full leadership potential for the sake of their churches and the communities they serve. I want to help congregations form their vision and realize their mission. I want to lead congregations through a process of discernment that helps define their mission and purpose but also gives them a road map to success. Finally, I want to help congregations engage their participants fully in the mission of the church. I want to create mechanisms for including the full congregation in the work of the church, so that everyone who comes to a church is fully engaged in a meaningful experience that deepens their relationship with God, their family, their church and their community.

Ok. That’s a lot I know. So I’m going to work to make it a job description that is specific and clear. And then, I hope you will help me make it even better and more clear, and then help me find a church that wants someone to do it!

Handout Week 2

Church of the Resurrection’s “Hitting Your S.T.R.I.D.E.”

Discovering God’s Vision for Your Life – an inexpensive booklet with an extensive questionnaire to help discern your gifts

Uniquely You – a slightly more expensive online survey based on the DISC system.

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator – a useful personality tool that helps identify your skills. A useful book, based on MBTI with a focus on vocation is Do What You Are by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger.

A more work oriented approach can be found in Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton. The book includes access to an online survey to discovery your strengths. (Note: I’ve heard that the “2.0″ version is inferior to the original.)

And, finally, the UMC’s online spiritual gifts tool. It doesn’t work great, but it is free!

One debate is the nature of “spiritual gifts” verses the “fruit of the Spirit.” The “spiritual gifts” are thought to be described in basically three chapters from Paul’s letters: Romans 12, 1 Corinthians 12 and Ephesians 4. The “fruit of the Spirit” are described in Paul’s letter to the Galatians, chapter 5.

Now, you can read those passages carefully, and discern how Paul uses those categories. Perhaps a better Biblical scholar than me could more clearly articulate the distinctions. But, I would point out that after 1 Corinthians 12, comes chapter 13, which is Paul’s much beloved musings on the nature of love. Chapter 13 sounds quite a bit like the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians, and is closely linked to the previous chapter, where Paul describes the spiritual gifts.

I have always felt that Paul was a much less “systematic” thinker than the theologians who came along after him and interpreted his writings. I think Paul uses his language as he needs to to make his points, but I don’t think he was particularly strict with the categories he developed. He was thoughtful, passionate, and at times brilliant! But he was more committed to communicating the grace of God in Jesus Christ than he was in being formal and clear. From a modern view, we might think him sloppy, or we might be tempted to “systematize” him in a way that is more comfortable for us. But I’m not sure that’s true to Paul.

Likewise, I don’t think Paul was constructing a complete list of “spiritual gifts” and “fruits of the Spirit.” Paul wasn’t writing a thorough manual for the church. Rather, Paul was encouraging specific communities of faith that had concerns and struggled with issues that were relevant to their times and places. Paul tried to assist them in their journey of faith. For us today, the work is to place Paul’s writings in the context of their time, considering their intended audience and the struggles they faced and Paul addressed. With that in mind, we might come to more fully understand Paul’s intentions. I think we remain a gifted community, blessed by God to bear fruit worthy of repentance, as John the Baptist suggested in Matthew. But the nature of our gifts/talents/abilities/fruits will be relevant to the times and places we are called to serve, to the challenges our communities face, to the moments we find ourselves working out our faith.

Handout Week 1

Week 1, September 25: A Biblical Model of Core Strengths

Week 2, October 2: Getting to Know Core Strengths

Week 3, October 9: Identifying Your Core Strengths

Week 4, October 16: Bearing Fruit: Putting Your Strengths to Work

I remember the long days in front of the church, just talking with people. Holding their hands. Praying with them. Sharing their grief and their confusion.

I remember the long nights, in restaurants and bars, talking with strangers as we all tried to understand what had happened and what was happening.

And I remember being so angry.

Early on the morning of 9/11 I met with a young Chinese-American couple who were planning their wedding. It was our first or second meeting. He had a job in the financial industry, and after our meeting he took a subway downtown to his office. But he didn’t get there.  On his way down, a plane flew into the World Trade Center and his subway train stopped in its tracks.

A few months later, I remember presiding at his wedding. I remember the elaborate reception afterwards, that included a traditional Chinese tea ceremony and a multi-course meal comprised of dead animals I could not identify. I remember thinking at the moment, as this couple began their new life together, that this was the way to respond to terrorism: to continue living, to embrace each other, to trust in the fundamental goodness of life, even with the bad parts. This wedding, and the countless other little ways that we mark the moments of our lives, were small forms of resistance. It was a way of saying “our intentions have not been inturrepted.”

I thought that 9/11 presented us with an opportunity to do something different. I thought we had a chance as a nation to respond to terror in the only way terror can truly be defeated. I honestly hoped that we would return the terror with a new resolve to be agents of peace throughout the world. As the drum beats for war increased their volume, I realized that war was not the answer, but war was inevitable.

I can’t help but wonder what would be different if we had made different choices over the past ten years. What might we have done if we had invested in something other than two ill-conceived wars?

The worst thing about terrorism is what it does to your soul. It shakes your faith in your basic safety. It inspires you to lash out. It makes you feel unsure, like you can’t trust the world. This is the poison that seeped into our hearts on 9/11. And we have made the entire world feel our pain.

When 9/11 happened, I remember thinking one thing: Stop! Stop this violence! Stop this destruction! Just make it all stop! I didn’t want revenge. I didn’t even want justice. I just wanted it all to stop. And I couldn’t help but think that for other people in other lands, where events like 9/11 happen on a regular basis, where war is just a way of life, that their suffering and fear must have become part of their souls. And maybe this was a moment for me to feel what that felt like.

I am still afraid. And I am still angry. I’m angry mostly for what we have become, for what we let this terror do to us. I’m angry because we didn’t resist it, we succumbed, and we turned the wheel of violence and passed it on to distant lands and people we don’t know. I hope someday the wheel turns back around to someone – or some people – who have the strength of character and the power of faith to stop the wheel from turning again. I wonder where such people might be, or how such people might become our leaders. I wonder how long we must wait for it all to stop.

Rev. Richard S. Parker was my first real mentor in the ministry. I served with him at the Port Washington United Methodist Church right after I graduated college and moved to New York to attend Union Theological Seminary. I remember my first meeting with Dick after I had been hired as the student pastor, in his office at the church, when he looked at me, at 22 years old, and said, “So, you’ll be up for preaching in a couple of weeks.” I freaked out, but sure enough I preached in a few weeks. Dick put an awful lot of trust in me – and gave me the courage to believe that I could be an effective pastor. He saw in me much more than I saw in myself, and he helped me discover my strengths. Though I was enrolled in seminary, I was intending to pursue an academic career. Dick helped me to see parish ministry as a rewarding, important, transformative career. I would not have pursued ordination in the New York Annual Conference had it not been for Dick’s thoughtful shepherding.

Dick also showed me the ropes of the political life of Methodism. He knew the ins and outs of Methodist politics better than almost anyone. He was still going to General Conference as a delegate back in those days, and I think he held a record for the most consecutive General Conferences as a delegate. Not sure – but he would have been in the running. He represented us well – reading ALL the material and advocating for the causes he passionately believed in. The only person I ever met more passionate than him about social justice was perhaps his wife Grace, who was also one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. Her passion for justice lacked some of the intellectual sophistication of Dick’s, and I remember many “discussions” over lunch when Grace would be pressing a point that Dick didn’t buy….but Grace rarely budged. Dick might have thought the issue through carefully, but Grace was committed and writing letters to whoever she thought might read them. They made a powerful couple and loved each other in a way that is rare to see these days.

In later years, when I was pastor at the Washington Square United Methodist Church, Dick again generously provided his guidance and support. He had served at the church just before I arrived in an interim capacity. I invited him to join a “think tank” of leaders who would help me think through the challenges that congregation faced, and Dick provided essential advice and compassionate care for me and the church. As before, I was able to navigate challenging waters in large part because of Dick Parker.

Finding myself in the curious position that I am in now – of re-evaluating my call to ministry and my place in the church – I hope I choose a future that honors the enormous contribution I’ve received from my many mentors. Dick was no romantic. He knew well the frustrations of ministry. He once shared with me a story that I often reflected on during my frustrating moments in the parish: A pastor in a small town drove out to the train tracks every afternoon, just in time to watch the daily train roar down the tracks. Noticing this pattern over a few weeks, one of his parishioners asked him why he went out every afternoon to look at the train. The pastor replied, “I just like to see something move in this town without me having to push it.”

Dick, thanks for that story. Thanks for the many gifts you gave me that are buried in the secret places of my heart. I am so grateful for the blessing you were to me – and even to my family and many of my friends. May God receive you now and place you on an important committee where you can contribute much. Or better yet, may you sail on the seas with the charisma God shared with us for a while.